Everybody is leaving me slowly. Slowly running away from my life.

“I'm not going to sit around, chase after you, give you all my attention, when you're out giving someone else yours....”

Last night I found myself standing in front of a mirror and cry. I don’t know what happened to me. I can’t do anything but staring at the screen. Thinking what should I answer him. Well, it’s hard to answer his question.  I can’t keep on lie to myself. And I also can’t afford to lose him. My eyes burst. Tears flow and continue rolling on my cheeks. Yes, I.. can’t.. bear.. the..pain.

I admit, I love him. I used to love him before.  But seeing him to be happy make me think twice.If I really love him, why don’t I just let him go so that he can be with whoever he thinks can make him happy.  Besides, there is no used I want to force him to be with me if he doesn’t have the same feeling like mine.

I know, letting him go is not easy. It is hard and painful. But, to be with a person who loved someone else won’t make me happy neither. So there, for your sake, I decided to let you go.

“But promise me you will be happy. With the one you choose to be,”

Today, one of my friend told me about her status at facebook. From the first I know something is not right since she doesn’t talk much. But I’m just like okay... Then, I saw she is writing something on a piece of paper. But I ignore her and continue chatting with the others as I thought she is doing her revision. She gave me the paper and said that is her status. I read the paper. Eversince, I feel like ‘something’. I don’t know how to describe. The feeling of guilty, anxious, sad, depressed and very much disturbed.

Her status sounds like this

“ Don't tease a good friend. Sometimes, it's the smallest things that make an impact. You may potentially lose the "proof that true friends really exist. :) ”

At first, I just let myself cool down and tried to ignore what I’ve read. I talk like usual. Laugh like usual. And act like usual. But, then the pain of ‘something’ in my heart is just unbearable, making my eyes burst into tears again. I cried like crazy and hurriedly go to my place and sit.

Dear friend,

“ I don’t my losing a guy. But I just can’t afford to lose a good friend like you in my life, I love you”

Everybody is leaving me slowly. Slowly running away from my life.